Be Strong
Friday, September 11, 2009 at 02:09PM 
In my last blog post, I discussed writing with an active voice. This week, I’ll go into a little more detail on voice. Specifically, we’ll talk about avoiding future progressives and writing with a strong direct voice.
When writing, your voice allows you to express your personality. In news writing, however, the goal is not to express yourself, but to come across as an authority on your subject. That’s why news writers set out to write compelling news stories with a definitive voice.
When I think about writing a press release with a strong voice, I immediately imagine a newscaster on a televised news program. A good newscaster will command your attention by discussing stories with a crisp and authoritative voice. The language you use in your press release should also command attention.
The future progressive tense (“will be” and a present tense verb followed by ”-ing”) tends to weaken a writer’s voice. Using regular future tense results in a stronger voice. It’s easier to show you what I mean by “strong voice” than it is to write about, so here goes:
WEAK: The Department of Health will be hosting an Air Quality Seminar.
BETTER: The Department of Health will host an Air Quality Seminar.
WEAK: Dr. John Smith will be speaking at the Department of Health’s Air Quality Seminar.
BETTER: Dr. John Smith will speak at the Department of Health’s Air Quality Seminar.
WEAK: The Department of Health will be giving away free asthma inhalers at the 2009 Air Quality Seminar.
BETTER: The Department of Health will give away free asthma inhalers at the 2009 Air Quality Seminar.
Look at the sentences above. They all deal with events that haven’t happened yet. The future progressive versions of these sentences feature “will be” and “hosting/speaking/giving.” In these cases, the word “be” isn’t an integral part of the sentence. We can say the same thing more directly by losing the “be’s” and switching to the future tense.
I’d suggest modeling your text after what you see and hear on evening news reports. Televised news programs (generally) have time restrictions and anchors need to discuss important events in as few words as possible. Press releases are different in that there’s much more room for details. A powerful news voice will keep readers interested and progressing smoothly from paragraph to paragraph.
After writing your press release, reread it, looking for opportunities to say the same thing more directly. Ask yourself if it would sound at home if read aloud on a news program. Does it sound natural and directly convey your message? Just like last week, you’ll want to look for forms of the word to “be” (be, is, are, etc.). If you can say the same thing without it, feel free to discard it.
